diary of a madman
by Stratosus
Summary: touma loose himself, seiji try to help him


**_DIARY OF A MADMAN. _**

In the middle of the night, Touma was sitting near the lake, his diary resting near him. Above him, the stars were shining like to comfort him. It's been two days since he eat, but he didn't mind. __

For him, the end was near. He didn't want to suffer anymore, plus his mind can slip and he didn't want to impose this on the others, especially Seiji. He loves him so much. __

He takes his diary and began to write. 

[what a beautiful night. I'm so afraid, I will loose this battle, I know it. I'm not strong enough. I'm so afraid to vent this on seiji or another guys. I couldn't bear to make them suffer, especially Seiji. I would better end this here before it could be to late.] 

He was going to take the knife he brought with him, when a cry stopped him. 

"No, Touma. No, please. Stop it please. 

- Seiji? What are you doing here. Are you spying on me? HOW DARE YOU? 

- It's not what you think. I was afraid you made something. And I see I was right. 

- It's not you're problem. Go home. I don't need you. 

- But Touma...? 

- No But! I said GO HOME!" 

Touma began to walk away, leaving Seiji there. 

\I don't understand why he's like that lately.Something is gnawing at him. I must know what's going on. There is his diairy. He will kill me when he founds out that I read it but I need to know what's wrong in order to help him.\__

What Seiji found in Touma's diairy was frightening. Touma was slowly slipping away from them and mainly from him.__

\Why is that? Why didn't he tell me? Why especially on me? Did he...? maybe! 

But why didn't he tell me his problem? I must talk to him.\__

Seiji took the same road Touma did, in order to find him. He found him, near the lake he was sitting there, looking at nothing. 

#Shit! I forgot my diairy, Seiji must have find it. 

-_Don't worry, you weakling, he won't understand that you love him but he will know that you're nut._

-Oh you! Shut up.__

-I don't believe it, here I am, talking to myself .

-_ hey you! Don't compare us, I'm a hundred time better than you._

_-_how so?

-_simple I'am you, but I'm not afraid or weak like you._

_‑_yeah so your the nut.

-_right, thanks to our father._

-oh please spare me!

-_ok I will for now.#___

"Touma? Can I talk to you?

- Please Seiji not now.

- Why not? It seems to be the great time.

- Don't you understand I'm mad. I'm earring voices.

- How so?

- In my head.

- Touma?

- _Leave me alone, jeez. Can't I die alone?"___

Seiji was taken aback, the last words were not Touma's usual voice.

"Touma?

-_yeah! It's me. _

-You sure?

­_-Maybe not the Touma you know, but I'm Touma as well. So you see, I'm really mad plus I'm dangerous._

_-_No you're not!__

_-are you sure?"_

Touma approach Seiji with his knife, visibly he was going to harm Seiji, but he can't believe it.

"_Now you'll leave me alone you I'll make you leave._

- Touma you can't.

- _ And why not?_

- Because I'm you're friend.

- _ If so, then leave me._

- I can't . 

- _Then, be sorry."_

Seiji see Touma approach him with visibly the intention to hurt him.

"_Go Seiji! Go now before I make something I'll regret._

- Then don't do it

- _You don't understand, don't you?_

- Understand what? I can't if you don't explain.

- _I can't. Now leave me alone._

- You know I can't."

Touma launch himself at Seiji, the knife in front of him. Seiji avoided the knife but not the punch that Touma through at him. Seiji took Touma's hand and made him let go of the knife. Touma took Seiji down with him, and beat him senseless, Seiji let him do hoping that Touma will regain his sens. When Touma thought that Seiji won't get up, he leave him there and took the knife that he had let drop. He went near the lake and drop to his knees; then he brought the knife to his left wrist and cut it deeply, he sighed when he saw his blood pour from the gash, he went to do the same to the other but, Seiji had get up and stop him before he cut it too deeply. 

"Touma? Why?

- and why not? _Why don't you leave alone?_

- You know I can't.__

- _Why that? You don't understand don't you._

- Explain to me then. 

- _If I do so, will you leave me alone then?_

- If that's what you really want I will.

- _I can't go on living like this…_

- Why that?

- _Seiji are you blind or what? Don't you see that I'm mad? One day, I'll slip away completely and I'll end up hurting you like I did. Seiji look at you, I beat you senseless. _Why are you trying to help me after what I did to you?"

Seiji took notice of the tone, he knew right away that the last sentence was pronounced by his friend.

- "Touma… you're my friend. I know that you have problem, and if beating me, can help you I'm willing to take it.

- No seiji, I can't let you take my madness, I must end it now before I kill you.

Now that you know, can you leave, please.

- I can't.

- _You liar, you said that if I tell you, you'd leave me._

- I can't touma, I need you.

- _No you lousy shit, you don't need me, you need the armor."_

Touma take the knife and get up to leave but the bloodloss began to make effect so he went back to the ground his world spinning.

"_after all, I won't need to cut the other wrist. You can stand here if you want, at the moment you don't intefere._

_-_touma why? I need you, you can't leave me.

_­-and why that? Nobody needs me. Nobody loves me, not even you. I can't seiji, I can't wait for you to find someone you will love and for them you'll leave me…_

-is that the problem?

‑oh shit, my secret is blown off. It's not a matter, I'll die soon.

- you think that I don't love you..

- of course, you love me but not the way I would want. Seiji I love you, I am in love with you, I fall in love for you so far long ago that I don't remenber.

- Me too touma.

- _Sure. I believe you._"

Seiji seeing that touma won't believe him, take the first step and kissed him. That's when touma found that seiji was crying over him. He brought his hand in contact with seiji's cheek and wiped away his tears.

"-seiji my love.

-touma don't leave me.

-I can't do much to prevent that now… seiji I don't see you face anymore… I love you, I will always love you.

-touma, no… can I heal you? Please love tell me that I can."

Touma opened his eyes briefly.

"you can, if you want."

His breath began to fade and seiji react quickly. He summon korin to heal his friend. When korin faded he wait, hoping that touma's will was strong enough. When his love open his stormy blue eyes, his tears flowed on his cheek. Touma redress himself and took seiji in his arms.

"shh! Don't cry my love, it's over, I'm here. I won't leave you anymore.

- touma, please tell me , you won't do that again.

- Promise, love."

Seiji help touma stand up, then touma take a look at is love.

"seiji love, you look awful."

Seiji chuckled.

"it will fade.

-what will you tell the other. 

-nothing, they don't need to know."

And they leave hand in hand in direction of the manor. Touma was relieved 'cause he knows that his madness was now keep at bay thanks to seiji's love.

FIN.


End file.
